Check out the above video to hear me reading chapter one of Our Lives Entwined and some other fun book stuff (there may be a giveaway in there for you too if you get to the end of the video 😉 )
If you can’t listen with the sound on and still want to check out chapter one then read on! (Warning, you need to have read book one – OUR HEARTS ENTWINED – first!)
Standing in front of the fog covered mirror, Natalie swiped her hand across it so she could see herself more clearly. She found herself staring. It was something that she had done often in the year since she had returned from Melbourne, as her appearance was changing every day – right before her own eyes.
Gone was the pink glow of her cheeks, the rose of her lips, and the shine in her hair. All that was beautiful about her had been replaced with sallow, lifelessness that sucked against her bones and showed the world the darkness that she felt resided in her soul.
Her parents had been worried about her as she wasn’t eating, she wasn’t working, and she was barely even talking.
They offered her counselling, (which she immediately refused – fat lot of good it did her last time) and put it down to the shock of her discovering she had a twin. They knew that Natalie felt a great disappointment over her twin, Mia, refusing to have anything to do with her.
Although, Natalie wasn’t in the position to cry ‘poor me’. Mia had very good reasons for disliking her. A year ago, Natalie had insinuated herself into Mia’s life, drugged her, and ruined her relationship with her then boyfriend, Eric, instead of doing what any normal person would do and simply introduce herself.
Mia was a good person, and didn’t deserve the trouble Natalie caused in her life. If Natalie had knocked on her door and explained how she found her then she would have welcomed her – gotten to know her. Instead, Natalie acted selfishly, she acted secretly, and she ruined everything there could have been between them. She ruined their chance of being sisters, and she ruined Mia’s chance at having a family.
In Natalie’s mind, her actions were never intentional. She did it all because she fell in love. But the problem was, she fell in love with Eric. She’d seen Mia with her boyfriend while observing them, (she insisted that she was only watching to see what kind of a person her twin was…) but there was something about Eric, something that drew her to him and made her feel as though she would do anything to be with him.
The day he mistook her for Mia, it was an accident. She’d gone out, hoping to run into him, but she never considered that he would think she was her sister. It was silly really, and she should have just told him who she was then and there. But, thinking she was Mia, he kissed her and there was a connection and… well, you know the rest.
She fell in love with Eric, and believing that all is fair in love and war, she did what she felt she had to do – she pretended to be Mia, even though she knew it was wrong. And ever since everything came out in the open, she was suffering. She couldn’t figure out how to live without him. She couldn’t move on.
Eric… His name was always on the tip of her tongue. His face, always at the edge of her mind, his voice, the only sound she heard when no one was around, and his touch – it was the only thing she craved. That is why she’d become so ill. She was pretty sure it was called being ‘lovesick’. There was no cure – not for her anyway.
The sickness had started the moment she left Melbourne to return to Sydney, and it hadn’t gone away since. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t continue like this.
She’d tried in vain to contact him – to somehow explain. But every attempt went unanswered. The silence was deafening, and she’d never felt so lonely in all her life.
Natalie firmly believed that Eric was her soul mate. And how does one live without their soul mate? It seemed an impossible feat to her. Her chest ached without him, her stomach couldn’t stand the idea of food, and that spark of energy that gives one purpose in life was gone. Everything was gone.
Letting out a shaky breath, she stared at her reflection and wiped at her blotchy red face. She needed to stay strong. To get through this, she needed every last ounce of strength she had. She was going to end it. She didn’t want to live anymore.
Sliding the razor out of its white paper package, she held it over her wrist before looking at her reflection once more. Tears filled her eyes as a sob escaped her lips. She hated herself, just as she was sure that others hated her. She had ruined everything. She had lost her sister, her hope, and the only chance she ever had at love.
Clenching her teeth, she pressed the razor against her flesh and wincing from the pain, she cut from her wrist, upward. As the blood spilled from her wound, and despite her promise to herself that she wouldn’t cry – her tears flowed, making it harder for her to see as she readied the blade at her other wrist.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she sliced down blindly, gasping this time as the blade went deeper than the one before. Immediately, she dropped the razor in the sink, before leaning up against the tiled wall, crying over all that she had done wrong in her life and wishing she could go back and somehow make things better.
Slowly, as her limbs grew heavy, she leaned against the tiled wall, eventually losing strength and sliding to the floor. In the quiet of the locked bathroom, she sat – alone and growing cold as she sobbed quietly and watched the deep red leave her body, streaming its way toward the drain in the centre of the bathroom. Slowly, her vision blurred, and the red faded, becoming nothing but an empty black.